The current business environment has put a premium on peoples’ networks. Sure, “it’s not what you know, but who you know” may be a bit cynical, but who better to help you through a trying time than a friend? But these times are so trying that networking only among friends won’t likely get the job done.
This puts pressure on us all, but mostly on we who are, er, shy. We have to overcome our own reluctance, not just a contact’s skepticism.
The easiest way, of course, is to offer praise or insight by email. If an executive wants to court a business contact (or a public relations professional seeks to curry favor with a reporter), focusing on their work with a supportive comment or, better, a relevant question, can lead to a valuable connection.
Someone who needs to network (don’t we all?) is likely already aware of the value of asynchronous contact from a distance. So, better advice for a shy person is how to network in-person. Tougher, sort of like figuring out how to ask a girl to dance at a junior high school “battle of the bands.” As adults we can learn quite a bit from our experience as adolescents.
For those real-time, face-to-face networking opportunities (e.g., conferences, seminars, industry breakfasts/lunches/dinners) where there is a chance to connect with people who can be helpful in business, here are five tried-and-true methods:
1. Bring a friend
Networking requires an ability to speak to other people you don’t know personally, even if you know them by reputation. Making the first move is made easier if you already have someone to whom you can easily talk. By bringing an appropriate friend (in the same industry or with an interest in the subject), a lot of anxiety dissipates. Bring a friend makes it easy to include or intrude on others.
2. Take advantage of what’s going on
Breaking the ice with a potential business contact if you open with a comment not about you or them, but about what’s going on around you. Every event offers something – a display, a presentation or cause – that can be a stress-free way to make a connection. In a way, it is the difference between playing pool – hit the ball directly into the pocket – and billiards – all angles and placement.
3. Get in line
Networking requires proximity which can be uncomfortable to the shy person. Getting in a line — to the bar, the buffet or the book signing – is a natural way to overcome that hurdle. The wine at the bar, the food at the buffet and the author’s high school picture on the book jacket are all ways to take advantage of what’s going on (see above).
4. Prepare some questions
A hallmark of being shy is being unwilling to express an opinion; so many other people seem so much smarter! There is nothing smarter than asking the right question. Preparing some in advance of the event can help make the good connections. After all, the only thing more seductive than asking the right question is being asked.
5. Revisit people you have met when then reassemble with people you haven’t
Making a connection is hard work. It is a result that can make new connections easier, though. In an event setting, people come together and move on. Keep an eye on the people with whom you’ve met. When they fall into conversation with someone you’d like to meet, re-connect. Perhaps there is one more point you wanted to make, one more question you had to ask or some new bit of information that just emerged that relates to what you were talking about. Good connections, after all, are exponential.
