In the right context, even a shy guy can network
The current business environment has put a premium on peoples’ networks. Sure, “it’s not what you know, but who you know” may be a bit cynical, but who better to help you through a trying time than a friend? But these times are so trying that networking only among friends won’t likely get the job done.
This puts pressure on us all, but mostly on we who are, er, shy. We have to overcome our own reluctance, not just a contact’s skepticism.
1. Bring a friend
Networking requires an ability to speak to other people you don’t know personally, even if you know them by reputation. Making the first move is made easier if you already have someone to whom you can easily talk. By bringing an appropriate friend (in the same industry or with an interest in the subject), a lot of anxiety dissipates. Bring a friend makes it easy to include or intrude on others.
2. Take advantage of what’s going on
Breaking the ice with a potential business contact if you open with a comment not about you or them, but about what’s going on around you. Every event offers something – a display, a presentation or cause – that can be a stress-free way to make a connection. In a way, it is the difference between playing pool – hit the ball directly into the pocket – and billiards – all angles and placement.
3. Get in line
Networking requires proximity which can be uncomfortable to the shy person. Getting in a line — to the bar, the buffet or the book signing – is a natural way to overcome that hurdle. The wine at the bar, the food at the buffet and the author’s high school picture on the book jacket are all ways to take advantage of what’s going on (see above).
Making a connection is hard work. It is a result that can make new connections easier, though. In an event setting, people come together and move on. Keep an eye on the people with whom you’ve met. When they fall into conversation with someone you’d like to meet, re-connect. Perhaps there is one more point you wanted to make, one more question you had to ask or some new bit of information that just emerged that relates to what you were talking about. Good connections, after all, are exponential.
Great advice, John! I would add one tip I’ve found helps me: I look around the room to see a group of people who look interesting — maybe they are having a lively conversation. I go over to them and stand quietly, taking in what they are saying, and as you’ve suggested, might insert myself through an intelligent question — or allow them to find a way to include me in the conversation. I also look for the other shy people in the room who are standing alone and go introduce myself.
Mara